Friday, May 11, 2012

How I Personally Saved GM, CHRYSLER and the CITY of DETROIT

"My Laying of the Hands Fades any Memory of a Lie"

How I Personally Saved GM, CHRYSLER and the CITY of DETROIT and Live to campaign with a Memory of Convenience,  a Rambler full of LIES and fooled Michigan voters to WIN!

 by Mitt Romney, Cranbrook Schools, Bloomfield Hills
        Class of '65, Cheerleader, Water Boy and Glee Club.

As I said in Cleveland last weekend,
 “I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy, and finally when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet. So, I’ll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry has come back.” 

Yes, I'll take credit for that. President Obama followed my recommendations and thus GM, Chrysler and the hundreds of thousands of jobs were saved.

You see where I gained all of my business knowledge and proven strategy is at Bain Capital. At Bain I learned you do not RISK your own money, but get others to put up "private equity" from other not as smart as you investors. You promise them the likelihood of a great return on their buck and they jump on the bandwagon.

Now in the specifics of GM and Chrysler, well President Obama did not follow my advice quite to a "tea." Part of what I would insist as a quicker way to save these two auto giants is to execute a managed buyout of new owners and immediately declare "any and all contract provisions with the U.A.W. are now "null and void."  I mean it is only fair. Under my plan of private equity that gives me all management control I just inform the public and the UAW, I bought a company not a Union contract! Puff, it is gone!

It is the normal operating procedure while I was at Bain Capital. Without taking any RISK with My Money we acquire the company and upon going through all of that hard labor, I sign the new corporate papers and the largest cost to any company is cut by 50% or more. It is the workers, their salary and benefits that we "right-size" to fit the profit margins sold to our investors. With all UAW personnel out on the street I can then rehire many of them at a wage half of what they earned prior. Health benefits? Well I just told them to see about Obama care or move to Massachusetts.

Did I say that private equity firms create jobs? Now, I don't recall saying that but in about 22% of our takeovers, the profits inherent in the initial company almost forced us to expand and hire up to maybe 100,000 people over my last two years at Bain. (I retired early with 15 years and full benefits in order to save the Winter Olympics from those zealot Mormons in Utah). But, back to what I was saying that there were occasions our takeover, remade companies hired people from down the street. You know those poor folks on Cranbrook Drive, W. Maple Road, Oakland Hills Drive, Williamsburg, etc.


To Be Continued...